V is for Vulnerability: A Response to Jess' U Post

Growing up we are taught that vulnerability is something bad and that we should avoid it at all costs. Reading Jess' U post about unsolicited advice reminds me of my own journey with vulnerability. How the two are linked, I'm not so sure, but in my mind they are. Could it be Jess feels the way she does about travelling on public transport because it makes her feel vulnerable to attracting uninitiated and generally purposeless conversation? Me thinks there's an element of that.

As I age, I am more comfortable with the concept of vulnerability. In my younger years, I always felt vulnerable because of uncertainty. I needed to be in control, know where I was going, know what my next goal was and deal generally in black or white. I have now realised that was fallacious thinking.

A rich life is one that includes some grey and some uncertainty/vulnerability. Embracing it is the only way we risk and grow. It is the way we open ourselves to new opportunities and experiences, if we only did the things we knew and were comfortable with, we would stagnate. Unfortunately a lot of people do just that. Taken to the extreme of course, vulnerability is not a such a good thing. But equally, trying to live a life where one experiences no vulnerability at all takes a lot of energy and can often be lonely. People often do and say unpredictable things. As vulnerability generally means no unpredictability, those that are afraid of a little vulnerability are generally closed off. They may have acquaintances, certainly, but real connections?

None of us are on top of things at all times in our lives. I don't really understand the need to appear to be in total control and constantly successful. Pride is such a dangerous beast as  is hanging one's self-esteem on external validation. There will be times when we have to feel vulnerable, but vulnerability is the mother of innovation and change. It's the how and why we move on. It's OK to be human and not have all the answers. The key is the bounce back and resilience.

I too have received unsolicited advice whilst travelling on public transport and at times have not felt like engaging. But there's a saying along the lines of ...be generous with who you invite to your dinner table, you could be inviting an angel.

And Jess, if you really don't want to talk to anyone on the bus, bury your head in a book or put your earphones on - with your choice of music. You'll love not having to battle the traffic, worrying about driving and it'll be 40 minutes of just letting your mind go. I always found it a great transition between work and home.