S is for Swamp Donkeys and other creatures

My brother and I were arguing not long ago. Insults were flying and truthfully, I was on a roll. I was winning, which is a victory in and of itself considering my brother is just as smart, witty and rude as I am, and I was revelling in the glory. Until he turned around and told me to "shut up, you SWAMP DONKEY".

What the hell is a swamp donkey? I thought. I'd never heard the term. So I told him that if he stopped being an ass, perhaps so would I and then I went to the google machine. According to Urban dictionary, a swamp donkey is: "A very ugly, usually fat girl who hangs around in bars and clubs waiting to sexually assault males who are too drunk to defend themselves."

Now call me crazy, but I'm no swamp donkey. However that wasn't my problem. My issue was the absurd insult. It seems things like swamp donkeys are now normal terms. Instead of resorting to the regular "Shut up you fat whore",  we come up with some highly unusual word or name. I don't know whether it's a trend I enjoy or dislike.

On one hand, some of the 'terms' in urban dictionary are absolutely hilarious. Creative, witty and ingenious, I think they show promise for the english language. Recyclopath is another favourite of mine, described as "A person who militantly engages in recycling and is so hostile to simply throwing away garbage, it borders on mental illness" or there's Ninja Sex, "noiseless (no squeaking or moaning) sex done whilst someone is passed out in the room". As funny as it is to call someone a 'swamp donkey' instead of the more mundane 'ugly trollop', it get's hard to keep up with the ever changing language.

I don't think I have much choice but to go with the flow, so the next time someone calls me a swamp donkey, I'll be prepared. And my arsenal of absurd and highly incomprehensible insults will be greater.

Jessenia xoxo