H is for Horseradish

The supermarket did something to me I didn't think possible. It rendered me speechless. And thoughtless, considering the only speech that had been going on was in my head at the time. I was completely baffled, and I'm not quite sure how to shake off the discombobulation. Let me back track a little, and hopefully my tale of confusion will seem a little more understandable.

I was innocently perusing the glorious aisles of my local liquor store, conveniently attached to the supermarket, mind you, when it crossed my mind that I was short of oranges. And limes if I planned on buying the bottle of tequila that I was staring down. And I really did plan on buying the tequila. So, before splurging on the world's greatest creation, I decided to exhibit some self control and purchase necessary supplies for a night I would struggle to remember, and made my way to the fresh produce section.

Perusing the green veggies and thinking to myself that Bok Choy and I would need to get better acquainted some day, I came across it. The evil, traitorous plant that brought about my dumbfoundedness. Oh, it was a tricky little thing. Horseradish. What do you do with it?  I asked myself. Is it for soups? Does one bake it with chives like a potato?  I had no clue.

I hadn't been so utterly clueless since my days as a firm believer in Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

It dawned on me that even though I once worked in a fruit shop, and I really do enjoy cooking, I to this day could not say how one might go about using horseradish. Or custard apples. Or Papaya - or is that Paw Paw? I'm not sure which, but I know one of them is supposedly nasty. In fact, there is a myriad of nature's creations that despite years of inclusion in cooking, escape my knowledge and leave me quivering in fear when I'm confronted with them.

I haven't the foggiest how to successfully use squash. And truthfully, I've never even thought of gracing my dinner plate with the likes of asparagus. They always looked a little too pointy for my liking. However I have decided it has got to end.

The embarassment I felt, whilst unbeknownst to others, was horrendous. I couldn't even begin to describe how I felt about being outdone by a glorified root. So I am pledging, dear readers, that I will stand firm in the face of fearsome veggies. I will widen my horizon and some day (I make no promises of when exactly), I will be the master of fresh produce. I will effortlessly sautee the most unusual of the exotic greens and I will steam to perfection every akward sounding plant related vegetable on the planet and I will not stop until there is nothing left to be mastered. I, Jessenia, shining beacon of light for my fellow Gen Y-ers, will do away with the horseradish that is the mysterious veggie. So to the unusual little suckers out there in the produce world, fear me. Because I am coming for you.